" Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare."
-Audre Lorde
Just curious?! When is the last time you remember doing something to boost your mood?
If you're still thinking, we need to chat girl!
The concept of self care has become so trendy, that I feel like we are missing the essence of what it actually is. To be clear, a self care routine doesn't have to mean you're all the sudden sippin' an "all natural, organic, vegan, gluten free, raw juice" while in down dog. I mean, I'm game for all of that! But, if that's not authentic to who you are, then that "self care routine" isn't going to vibe with you. Then chances are you won't probably won't develop a healthy habit.
Simple stated self care is the deliberate actions and behaviors we take in order to care for our emotional, physical and mental wellbeing. Now if it just that simple to actually DO!
As mothers, career women, business owners, side hustlers, bloggers, (fill in the blank)… it can be so easy to put your “work” before anything else. Especially if you're new to the game (i.e. a new mom, new entrepreneur) and trying to get a business up and running! Believe me, I am right here with ya, girl!
Lately, I find myself using any spare time (i.e. Mia’s days at school, or when her and my husband sleep ) to work on research for my website or blog post. This is time that I used to spend sleeping or keeping up with house chores or even "me" time. I know the high expectations we set for ourselves to produce great things as a career woman; be physically + emotionally available for our families as moms/partners, etc. All while trying to barely stay up on our physical appearance so we don't appear as scary monsters... well, maybe we let go on Sundays?! #scarysundays
When conversing with other women, (especially other moms), I notice a reoccurring theme as it relates to women taking care of themselves:"time" or lack thereof. If you can relate, this post is for you!
I will agree that time is certainly a factor in taking care of yourself, but isn't time the main ingredient for everything? Let's reframe our thoughts about "time", shall we?
You brush your teeth everyday, RIGHT?!...well at least I hope so!
Think about all the things that are embedded into your daily routine because they are essential parts of your hygiene, personal grooming, or necessities for your physical functioning (i.e. showering, brushing your teeth, sleep + drinking water).
But what about allowing some time for your emotional functioning?
We essentially have the time, but its about recognizing our needs+ prioritizing them accordingly. And GIRL, THERE IS ALWAYS 5 MINUTES in EACH day for YOU!...SO TAKE IT!
I want you to know that it IS possible to #momsohard, crush goals at work, build your business, all while practicing self-care at the same time. I want to see you to thrive, as much as you do, which means... you need strategies and tools to avoid burning yourself out.
Before we get to the juiciness... the first (and most important) ingredient to successfully incorporate a sustainable self care routine, is to know that it is not selfish to put yourself first. I'll say it again, for the cheap seats in the back... IT IS NOT SELFISH TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST! (I know your mind is blown right now!) Try to re read this paragraph without judgement...go ahead, from the top!
9 Realistic Self Care activities that you can easily add to your daily routine to elevate your wellbeing.
1. Make A Healthy Meal Choice
Having a healthy meal when things are stressful, or busy will not only add to your physical wellness but your mental state, as well.
How you can apply it: Opt for the side salad rather than the fries, or the grilled shrimp salad topper rather than the crispy chicken salad topper.
2. Get Off-line
While I KNOW this is not as cut and dry as it sounds! I am so guilty of not applying this myself. (Let's hold each other accountable!) Give yourself the opportunity to get a break from the sometimes "artificial" goodies that make up your news feeds. You may not be aware of how much this is sucking your energy + your time.
How you can apply it: If you're out to lunch by yourself, loose the phone. Instead, admire your surroundings, engage with the bartender or waiter, thoroughly enjoy your meal...like really taste the flavors and notice the textures.
3. Help A Girl Out!... (or a Fella)
The deliberate self-less act of helping someone else will lift your mood, always. This is not to be confused with taking on additional responsibilities to add to your pile of stress!
How you can apply it: It could be as simple as paying it forward in the coffee line, or holding the door open for a mother with a stroller (it's super helpful, trust me!). Sometimes this act can even serves as a perspective shift for you; as it may give you an opportunity to show gratitude for something you typically take for granted.
4. Get active
Have you ever wanted to skip a workout so badly because you are so damn busy and you didn't have the time? YUP!...But you did it anyways? and felt amazing...YUP.
Getting your body moving, In whatever capacity you're able to do; do it. The release of endorphins in your brain surely will not disappoint. Endorphins will not only reduce your perception of physical pain, but it reduces stress and triggers a positive experience in your body. Not only doing something active it an instant mood booster, its physical benefits aren't to shabby either ;)
How you can apply it: Walk the stairs instead of the elevator, go outside for a walk with your little one, squeeze in a little at home workout in your PJ's by watching a simple video on YouTube.
5. Know your crew + what works for you
Spend more time with the people you feel radiant around. Once you bring attention the energetic exchanges in your relationships, clear the clutter.
How you can apply it: Stay close to people who inspire you + encourage your best. The support will be empowering for both of you. It will also help you balance the multiple roles you play as a woman.
6. Listen to a new Podcast or audiobook
There so much content that is instantly available to us! Use this as motivation to find something new to listen to or learn about. Podcasts are great because you can usually pick up on any episode, there is a HUGE variety of genres available to you at the click of a button, and they're free to listen to!
How you can apply it: Driving your car, or getting ready are a great time to sneak in some listening!
7. Stillness
People hear this + cringe, or immediately judge. "I cant sit still" , " I don't need to do that" or "I just don't have time".
Well.. yes, you can + yes, you do (squared)!
If "meditation" is not your thing, then perhaps sitting in your car doing a few deep breaths can be your thing!? It's the same thing, except it sounds less intimidating. Finding stillness is important EVERYDAY, but specifically when you notice you're feeling stressed, disconnected, sad, anxious, etc.
How you can apply it: There are a plethora of resources available at your fingertips to help guide a mediation or moment of still ness. I use an app called Headspace (find out more information and download it here) to help guide 10 minutes of stillness. These type of guided relaxations are great to get you to a place where you can sit in stillness on your own... You will get there, but you have to practice!
8. Give yourself a pat on the back
You deserve it! Give yourself a compliment or make a mini list of things your are currently doing well. This is just a small action to shift your mindset to a strengths based approach.
8. Get familiar
Do something that is familiar to you.
How to apply it: Watch an old favorite movie; If you don't have time for that, play an old song that gives you life. I'll give you my go to: " I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston, try it out! You know you wanna!
9. Give yourself a pat on the back
You deserve it! It's as simple as it sounds! We are often times our own worst critics and our biggest obstacles to happiness. Recognize how awesome and talented you are, even when it's hard to do so!
How to apply it: Give yourself a compliment or make a mini list of things your are currently doing well. This is just a small action to shift your mindset to a strengths based approach.
Why not a list of 10? Well that's just boring!
Try including one of these strategies in your everyday routine!
Remember that self care is more than just cucumber eye covers + yoga retreats.
Do you have a self care routine that you can't live without? I would love to hear from you! Share this with anyone you think might benefit + tag me on your socials.
Go on girl,
XO, Kat