Hang On To Your Happy As a Working Mom
- Kat Norwood
- Mar 31, 2019
- 3 min read
Updated: Oct 26, 2020
If you are a mom... then you know the feeling of wearing many "hats"... constantly shifting + evolving. Trying to keep up with our children's needs, family obligations, demanding careers, some sort of social life, partner intimacy, wellness regiment, me time, etc. It is with a great amount of gratitude that I say, I feel lucky to have these time management problems!
According to the U.S. Dept. of Labor, about 75% of mothers with children under 17 years are working mothers. But just because the number is growing, doesn’t mean it is getting easier. Mom guilt is REAL. I find myself thinking "I wish I could do (fill in the blank) with my girl today", several time a week!
I think any working mom who tells you she isn’t struggling to maintain a work/home fusion, is not being completely honest with herself. I prefer to say "fusion" rather than balance, because it never feels equal or balanced.
Some weeks, My husband and I do great! Our schedules flow, drop off's and pick up's are a breeze, dinner and bed time routine are smooth!
Then there are weeks where my husband and I piece child care together, time for each other is non-existant and my energy level is merely meeting the criteria for "breathing human body".
While I often hear statements like "How do you have time to...?" The answer is... I absolutely do NOT have my shit together!! I have time for the things I make a priority. And you do, too! I'll share a few tips on how you too, can pretend to have your shit together!
A Happy Fusion of Mommin' + Workin': Take What You Need
1) Outsource When/What You Can: Maybe it's hard for you to justify paying for something that you can technically do yourself? Think about things that you absolutely dread doing but they need to get done somehow. For example, cleaning my house is a drag! Hiring a woman to help clean my house has been a life changer! The days I come home after she has cleaned, I feel so relieved and thankful! This allows for me to have more time to do the things I prefer, while still having a dust-free floor!.... You CAN have it all, haha!! Ask yourself how much your time is worth, and if possible, hire someone to take some "to do's" off your hands.
2) Be present with your kiddos: This is something my husband definitely suffers from, I admit! But when I get home from work, I like to spend time playing or reading with my daughter before dinner and bed. It's not until after she is in bed that my phone comes out; when I sit down to relax after dinner. When it's play time, its on! I love watching how much she is learning and watching her creativity come to life. Listen to your kiddos, focus on them with the intention of simply being there with them!
3) Identify weekly priorities. Take time at the beginning of the week to identify top priorities and try to not get carried away in the details of things on the peripherals. At the end of the week, you can ask yourself how ya did!?
4) Connect: Just like "Mom groups", find yourself a network of working Mom's, Stay at home Moms, single Moms- ALL THE MOMS! These are the women who can understand the emotions and challenges that come with mommin'.
Our schedules fill quickly, the prideful moments fuel us, our worries are continuous, but our hearts...OH!, Our hearts are always so full!
I usually do a little research throughout the week for the blog. I typically don't cite or pull specific research, but I came across some really great stuff. I want to share this quote below from a parenting handbook that totally shifted my mindset about this post!
*"Taking care of a small, dependent, growing person is transforming, because it . . . exposes our vulnerabilities as well as our nobility. We lose our sense of self, only to find it and have it change again and again. . . . We figure out how we want to interpret the wider worlds, and we learn to interact with all those who affect our children. . . . In the end, we have learned more about ourselves, about the cycles of life, and humanity itself "*
This quote acted to reframe my thinking about "motherhood" from my most important role to a true privilege.
Go on girl,
XO, Kaitlynn
*(Barnard, K. E., & Martell, L. K. (1995). Mothering. In M. H., Bornstein (Ed.), Handbook of parenting. Status and social conditions of parenting (Vol. 3, pp. 3-26). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.)
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