What do you think you look like? What words are you using to describe yourself?
Your body image is your own mental representation of how you see your self.
Ever look at yourself in the mirror, of course you do! Are you someone who is more likely to think to yourself…
“ Damn I look effin’ goooood!?”
OR
“Ahhhh I hate my legs!”
More and more recently I find myself showing myself a little more appreciation and love! But I have totally thought the latter, too!
I teach at a barre and yoga studio (mindbodybarre) and I found it surprising at first, when I heard some women not wanting to set their mats up in front of the mirror, as to not watch themselves while they work out. The self-deprecating comments usually come in some sort of playful or joke like manner like “no one needs to see this movin’ around”.
Some women tend to avoid looking at themselves in the mirror to avoid activating their own self critical thoughts about their appearance.
I could talk endlessly about the social constructs of beauty and “ideal” body image, this conversation can branch off in so many directions!(I'll save it for more blog posts). I use “air quotes” around ideal, because ideal is defined as “ones own concept of what is perfect”. However, societal ideals unconsciously shape our own ideas and influence our thoughts and expectations about what we think is suitable or perfect.
We are socialized to compare our physical image with societal ideals and standards, which is just so damn UNREALISTIC.
The sooner I came to realize this for myself, the more love and compassion I showed for myself. Do I have those days where I look in the mirror and stare at my imperfect skin or pinch my side butt and call it my “fat sac”…I SURE DO! Keeping it real here! BUT… I have shifted my thoughts about myself in such a drastic way which has led me to feel most confident I have ever felt.
I want to help you get to a mind space, where you can stare at yourself in the mirror; see all of you AND love yourself WITHOUT the condition "if".
Read on to learn 5 simple techniques I use to foster a positive body image and self-confidence
1. Be your own best friend
If you are someone who is continuously taking badly to yourself or about yourself despite your best efforts; start by becoming aware of this habit.
Secondly, build in a mindful pause by asking yourself if it’s helpful thought? Would you speak like this to your friend?
By practicing a mindful pause, you may stop and notice you are engaging in a lot of negative self-judgments. The more you are in tune with your self, the more you are likely to re-engage with reality, and disengage from the habitual negative self talk.
This one can truly be a game changer and requires more individual work than just speaking about it. Learn more about how you can practice for yourself here.
2. Break up food
This one resonates with me the most.
For a long time after competitive body building, I had a very toxic relationship with food. I was constantly referring to food and “good food” and “bad food”. I was planning on “cheat meals” weekly and cheat meals morphed into “cheat days” and I was really just binge eating. I was overly strict in my eating all week long, then the weekend came and I was binge eating literally everything, as to get in my “cheats” before the week started again and I had to get back to my “strict diet”.
I found myself in this awful cycle; I couldn’t see a way out. As a result, I was gaining more and more weight, which made it even more depressing+ shameful. I was in this toxic relationship with food for over a year.
The more shame we have, the more we begin to see our bodies as something “wrong” or less than. As a result, we separate ourselves from it. Instead of being in our body, we disengage from it and spend our time trying to control it, change it, seek approval, etc.
When I say break up with food, I mean break up with the labels. Replace this with a system of making healthy choices, rather than labeling your food, and unconsciously inducing shame when you are “naughty” because you ate a Reese cup, they are effin delightful!! Your body will tell you when you need a cookie, and when you need a salad.
It took me a while to get here, I would love to help you start creating a positive relationship with food that will remove shame from eating a “bad food”.
3 . Brighten someone else’s day
One of the best ways to get out of our own head is to connect in an authentic way with another person. Do something nice for someone else. Recognize a stranger, and smile at them. I know you’re probably thinking to yourself, ok but really, Kat. Try it and see if its doesn’t uplift your spirt in a real way!
4. Love the one your with
A seemingly “easy” step, but it is the foundation of creating a healthy body image. I am sure many people are walking around with thoughts like “If I could just love my body like her, I would be happy”, or “If I just had her body I would love myself more”.
These thoughts imply that your current body needs to change in order for you to feel the love.
Turning inward and loving our body in the present moment, helps strengthen our experience in this physical body while allowing us new sense of gratitude for what our body does for us. I challenge you to see your body as it is right now, and love yourself without any conditions.
5. Create a love list
Think about all the ways you love to move your body without connecting it to a level of “difficulty” or how many calories you will burn.
Do you love to dance?… Do it!
Are you a swimmer?…get in that pool
Do you play a sport?…game on!
Be so kind with your words and how you describe yourself, that sh*t matters! Trust!
Go on girl,
XO, Kat